1
00:00:06,209 --> 00:00:09,552
Madame Ghost Representative,
we have a cabinet meeting
2
00:00:09,682 --> 00:00:10,944
with Samantha
in the living room.
3
00:00:11,075 --> 00:00:13,643
Oh, right. Uh, thank you, Isaac.
4
00:00:13,730 --> 00:00:15,906
I mean,
5
00:00:15,993 --> 00:00:18,387
Mr. Vice Ghost Representative.
6
00:00:18,517 --> 00:00:20,606
- Mm-hmm.
- Cabinet meeting? I didn't know the ghost rep
7
00:00:20,780 --> 00:00:22,043
actually did anything.
8
00:00:22,173 --> 00:00:24,393
That was true
under Creepy Dirk, but
9
00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:26,221
under a Montero-Higgintoot
administration,
10
00:00:26,395 --> 00:00:29,180
we will restore the position
to its original intent,
11
00:00:29,354 --> 00:00:33,315
to pester and annoy Samantha
with minor requests.
12
00:00:33,445 --> 00:00:34,881
Jay's been cooking
a lot of pancakes recently.
13
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Could you ask Sam to tell Jay
14
00:00:36,883 --> 00:00:38,929
that I would like to smell
something savory for breakfast?
15
00:00:39,016 --> 00:00:41,279
Trevor, it's on the agenda.
16
00:00:41,366 --> 00:00:44,935
But, uh, Flower, uh,
we were gonna go on walk.
17
00:00:45,109 --> 00:00:47,372
Remember? I want
to show you dead bee
18
00:00:47,503 --> 00:00:48,939
that die in funny position.
19
00:00:49,070 --> 00:00:52,160
Look like it dancing disco.
20
00:00:52,290 --> 00:00:56,555
Oh, right. Shoot. I...
Can we do it later?
21
00:00:58,079 --> 00:01:00,820
Yeah, okay. I mean,
if it not get eaten
22
00:01:00,951 --> 00:01:05,086
or wind not blow it
into unfunny position.
23
00:01:05,216 --> 00:01:09,394
Seems sort of risky to wait,
but okay, yeah.
24
00:01:09,525 --> 00:01:11,962
Cool. See you later, Thor.
25
00:01:12,136 --> 00:01:13,920
Man, that can't feel good.
26
00:01:14,051 --> 00:01:15,792
- What you mean?
- Well, it just seems
27
00:01:15,879 --> 00:01:17,750
like now that Flower's
big and important,
28
00:01:17,837 --> 00:01:19,578
she don't have time for you.
29
00:01:19,709 --> 00:01:21,363
- You're the Stedman to her Oprah.
- Oof.
30
00:01:21,493 --> 00:01:23,234
That's tough, but true, Trev.
31
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Who is this Stead Man?
32
00:01:25,671 --> 00:01:27,586
Well, Oprah's a very successful
and powerful woman,
33
00:01:27,717 --> 00:01:30,198
and Stedman is her man
who's just kind of there.
34
00:01:30,372 --> 00:01:32,678
But Thor First Gentleman.
35
00:01:32,852 --> 00:01:34,637
And we love that for you.
36
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Is important role
in its own right.
37
00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:39,772
That's such
a Stedman thing to say.
38
00:01:41,470 --> 00:01:43,385
♪ ♪
39
00:01:46,431 --> 00:01:47,563
She's pulling up!
40
00:01:47,693 --> 00:01:49,086
Who's pulling up?
41
00:01:49,217 --> 00:01:51,088
Oh, you remember
that woman Paula,
42
00:01:51,219 --> 00:01:52,394
the producer who shot an episode
43
00:01:52,481 --> 00:01:54,265
of the docuseries
Dumb Deaths here?
44
00:01:54,396 --> 00:01:55,875
Oh, yeah, you played Flower,
45
00:01:56,006 --> 00:01:57,877
and Jay got shot in the ass
with an arrow.
46
00:01:58,008 --> 00:02:00,315
That was a fun afternoon.
47
00:02:00,445 --> 00:02:01,881
Well, she wants
to scout Woodstone
48
00:02:02,012 --> 00:02:03,231
as a possible filming location
49
00:02:03,318 --> 00:02:05,146
for the upcoming season
of... Pete?
50
00:02:06,843 --> 00:02:08,540
All Star Edition.
51
00:02:08,671 --> 00:02:13,328
By Odin's loins, yeah!
52
00:02:13,458 --> 00:02:16,200
Okay, maybe curb your excitement
a little, Thor.
53
00:02:16,331 --> 00:02:17,854
We don't want her thinking
we got bad wiring.
54
00:02:19,551 --> 00:02:21,336
Yeah, I got to run.
I just got to the location.
55
00:02:21,466 --> 00:02:24,426
It's still run-down,
but yeah, hopefully cheap.
56
00:02:24,556 --> 00:02:27,603
- Sam, Jay, good to see you.
- Hey, Paula.
57
00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:29,735
Great to see you.
I love your purse.
58
00:02:29,866 --> 00:02:31,346
Ugh, yeah, it was a splurge.
59
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,217
I have a bit of
an online shopping problem.
60
00:02:33,304 --> 00:02:34,958
Every time I take an Ambien,
I black out
61
00:02:35,132 --> 00:02:37,003
and see the damage
on my doorstep the next day.
62
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,135
I like this one.
63
00:02:38,266 --> 00:02:39,484
She's a spitfire.
64
00:02:39,615 --> 00:02:41,878
Excuse me. What is it?
65
00:02:42,008 --> 00:02:43,793
Well, you tell Lacey Chabert
66
00:02:43,923 --> 00:02:46,448
that we think Mrs. Claus
would wear that bathing suit,
67
00:02:46,578 --> 00:02:48,537
and if she doesn't come out
of her trailer,
68
00:02:48,667 --> 00:02:51,322
Melissa Joan Hart
is circling the parking lot.
69
00:02:51,409 --> 00:02:53,759
Sorry, I also produce
holiday rom-coms.
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00:02:53,890 --> 00:02:55,500
Oh, my God. I love those.
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00:02:55,631 --> 00:02:58,286
- Yeah, you fit the demo.
- Thank you.
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00:02:58,416 --> 00:03:00,331
I don't know that
that was a compliment.
73
00:03:00,462 --> 00:03:02,377
Did you by any chance produce
Single and Ready to Kringle?
74
00:03:02,507 --> 00:03:05,336
By the skin of my teeth.
That was a tough shoot.
75
00:03:05,423 --> 00:03:07,338
Our Rudolph
got a little hoofsy on set.
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00:03:07,425 --> 00:03:09,340
Mm. Can I take you
to your room, Paula?
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00:03:09,514 --> 00:03:10,298
Absolutely.
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00:03:11,864 --> 00:03:13,475
Hello?
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00:03:13,562 --> 00:03:15,564
Because it's called
Christmas in Cabo, Lacey,
80
00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:18,871
and Mario Lopez already agreed
to wear a Speedo.
81
00:03:19,002 --> 00:03:21,004
Yeah, I want to see
how this plays out.
82
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:23,180
Sam, this is incredible.
You should tell Paula
83
00:03:23,354 --> 00:03:25,182
about the holiday rom-com script
you've been writing.
84
00:03:25,356 --> 00:03:28,141
Polar Opposites?
Oh, I don't know.
85
00:03:28,272 --> 00:03:29,317
Yeah, Joan read it and loved it,
86
00:03:29,447 --> 00:03:31,536
and she was
a professional screenwriter.
87
00:03:31,667 --> 00:03:34,147
I just don't know if it's ready.
What if Paula doesn't like it?
88
00:03:34,235 --> 00:03:37,063
Hey, you miss 100% of the shots
you don't take.
89
00:03:37,194 --> 00:03:38,587
I said that to Jerry
once at a bar
90
00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:40,502
when he told me
there was a girl he was into,
91
00:03:40,632 --> 00:03:41,807
and he didn't think
he had a chance, and...
92
00:03:41,938 --> 00:03:43,505
Cheese and rice, that was Carol.
93
00:03:44,549 --> 00:03:46,551
Flower, I've been thinking,
94
00:03:46,725 --> 00:03:48,553
with your recent election,
it would be nice
95
00:03:48,684 --> 00:03:51,469
to honor the occasion
with some sort of gathering.
96
00:03:51,556 --> 00:03:53,210
Mm. You mean like an orgy?
97
00:03:54,211 --> 00:03:57,214
Like that, in that
there will be people there,
98
00:03:57,345 --> 00:04:00,173
but I was thinking more along
the lines of an inaugural ball.
99
00:04:00,304 --> 00:04:02,654
Flower, this is a big deal,
100
00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:04,352
and it deserves
to be acknowledged.
101
00:04:04,482 --> 00:04:06,615
I actually attended
Nixon's inauguration.
102
00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:08,312
Well, a riot outside,
103
00:04:08,399 --> 00:04:09,835
which I thought
was going to be funny
104
00:04:09,966 --> 00:04:11,924
because someone was like,
"It's a riot,"
105
00:04:12,098 --> 00:04:13,796
but it was an actual riot.
106
00:04:13,926 --> 00:04:15,885
Ladies.
107
00:04:16,015 --> 00:04:18,757
Oh, hey, Isaac. Hetty was just
telling me about the clothed,
108
00:04:18,844 --> 00:04:22,108
nonsexual inaugural ball
she wants to plan.
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00:04:22,239 --> 00:04:24,154
Oh, that's a great idea,
and I could make some remarks.
110
00:04:24,285 --> 00:04:26,199
I could speak about
the invention of democracy,
111
00:04:26,374 --> 00:04:29,159
from Athens to Higgintoot.
112
00:04:29,290 --> 00:04:31,379
And I shan't steal
the spotlight.
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00:04:31,466 --> 00:04:33,555
Three, three and a half
hours tops.
114
00:04:34,686 --> 00:04:38,386
Isaac, that...
that sounds wonderful.
115
00:04:38,516 --> 00:04:41,737
Unfortunately, you're
far too valuable to attend.
116
00:04:41,867 --> 00:04:44,609
- What do you mean?
- You're the designated survivor.
117
00:04:44,740 --> 00:04:47,525
God forbid, something
should happen at the ball...
118
00:04:47,656 --> 00:04:49,397
say, some sort of
mass suck-off event...
119
00:04:49,571 --> 00:04:52,617
the remaining ghosts
would require a leader.
120
00:04:52,748 --> 00:04:55,490
We simply cannot lose
both Flower and you.
121
00:04:55,620 --> 00:04:57,840
So, instead of being
a featured speaker,
122
00:04:58,014 --> 00:05:00,451
I'm just not there at all.
123
00:05:00,582 --> 00:05:02,453
Because of how important
you are.
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00:05:03,498 --> 00:05:04,847
Makes sense.
125
00:05:04,977 --> 00:05:08,633
Just an update...
disco bee blew away.
126
00:05:08,764 --> 00:05:11,288
- Oh.
- What going on here?
127
00:05:11,419 --> 00:05:14,335
Well, I am planning
a fabulous inaugural ball
128
00:05:14,509 --> 00:05:16,467
for our Madame
Ghost Representative.
129
00:05:16,641 --> 00:05:18,991
I am not invited. Too important.
130
00:05:19,078 --> 00:05:21,951
Wait. This feel like something
131
00:05:22,081 --> 00:05:24,214
First Gentleman
should be planning.
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00:05:24,345 --> 00:05:27,260
Oh, I didn't know you cared
about this kind of stuff.
133
00:05:27,391 --> 00:05:30,612
Well, if it
about Flower, then Thor care.
134
00:05:30,699 --> 00:05:33,702
It's just that,
as the lady of the house,
135
00:05:33,832 --> 00:05:36,487
I do have extensive experience
136
00:05:36,574 --> 00:05:38,533
planning these sorts
of upscale events.
137
00:05:39,534 --> 00:05:42,232
Well, maybe you two
could plan it together?
138
00:05:42,363 --> 00:05:43,886
- Hetty, would that be okay?
- Well, I...
139
00:05:44,060 --> 00:05:48,325
imagine it would be valuable
to have his...
140
00:05:48,456 --> 00:05:50,109
- unique perspective.
- Good.
141
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:52,155
We plan together then.
142
00:05:52,242 --> 00:05:54,375
And trust me, Thor know parties.
143
00:05:54,549 --> 00:05:57,726
Thor once throw Viking party
where we slaughter caribou,
144
00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,118
drink still-warm blood,
145
00:05:59,249 --> 00:06:01,120
and then feasting
on its innards.
146
00:06:01,251 --> 00:06:04,646
Well, no idea's a bad idea.
147
00:06:05,603 --> 00:06:08,258
So, Paula, will McNair
and Jordana be back
148
00:06:08,345 --> 00:06:10,260
for It's Getting Hot in Here:
All Stars?
149
00:06:10,347 --> 00:06:12,305
Jordana, yes.
McNair, unfortunately,
150
00:06:12,436 --> 00:06:14,133
is going on next season
of Sex House,
151
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:15,918
which frankly,
feels like no premise at all,
152
00:06:16,048 --> 00:06:17,702
but people love it.
153
00:06:17,833 --> 00:06:19,965
What has happened
to my industry?
154
00:06:20,096 --> 00:06:21,663
Knock, knock.
155
00:06:21,793 --> 00:06:23,273
Just wanted to see
how you were settling in.
156
00:06:23,404 --> 00:06:25,754
Not true.
Our girl's got an agenda.
157
00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:27,538
Everything's great.
158
00:06:27,669 --> 00:06:29,192
McNair's making the leap
to Sex House.
159
00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:31,281
- Champa's gonna freak.
- So,
160
00:06:31,412 --> 00:06:32,630
I know how you mentioned earlier
161
00:06:32,717 --> 00:06:34,937
that you produce
holiday rom-coms...
162
00:06:35,067 --> 00:06:36,721
- You got this. - And I'm sure
you hear this all the time,
163
00:06:36,895 --> 00:06:40,551
but I am actually a writer,
and I have this script.
164
00:06:40,725 --> 00:06:42,553
- What's happening?
- Is there any chance
165
00:06:42,727 --> 00:06:44,207
you might take a look?
166
00:06:44,381 --> 00:06:46,470
Well, I don't usually read
unsolicited material.
167
00:06:46,557 --> 00:06:48,864
But for you, why not?
168
00:06:48,994 --> 00:06:51,257
Really? Thank you. Here you go.
169
00:06:51,388 --> 00:06:53,346
- No.
- What? - Huh?
170
00:06:53,434 --> 00:06:55,044
You can't let her
read that script, Sam.
171
00:06:55,174 --> 00:06:56,741
- I thought you said you liked it.
- I was being nice.
172
00:06:56,915 --> 00:06:59,309
If this producer reads
that script, you're done for.
173
00:06:59,483 --> 00:07:01,311
Hey, Paula, my mom's asking,
174
00:07:01,398 --> 00:07:04,880
"Will 'Brad the Assman'
be on this season?"
175
00:07:05,054 --> 00:07:07,099
It wouldn't be
All Stars without him.
176
00:07:07,230 --> 00:07:08,710
She's gonna be so happy.
177
00:07:14,411 --> 00:07:15,891
You need to get that script
back from her at all costs.
178
00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:17,545
You know, Paula,
on second thought,
179
00:07:17,675 --> 00:07:19,198
maybe I could just do
a quick typo pass.
180
00:07:19,329 --> 00:07:20,809
- Oh, I don't care about that.
- Ugh, I'm serious, Sam.
181
00:07:20,939 --> 00:07:22,811
You only get one chance
at a first impression.
182
00:07:22,941 --> 00:07:24,334
And now, I'm actually realizing,
183
00:07:24,421 --> 00:07:25,640
that's not even my script.
184
00:07:25,770 --> 00:07:26,989
That's my will.
185
00:07:27,119 --> 00:07:28,425
Jay, you're in
for some good stuff.
186
00:07:28,556 --> 00:07:29,208
Unless you're the one
who did it.
187
00:07:29,339 --> 00:07:30,296
What is happening?
188
00:07:30,427 --> 00:07:31,950
Okay, this vamping right here,
189
00:07:32,081 --> 00:07:34,213
this is gold compared to most
of her second act.
190
00:07:34,344 --> 00:07:36,868
Okay, if you want to do
one last pass, fine.
191
00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:39,567
- I have an hour in the morning
to read something. - Thank you.
192
00:07:39,697 --> 00:07:41,438
Now, if you'll excuse me,
193
00:07:41,612 --> 00:07:43,658
I have to go see if a spray-tan
booth will fit in the pantry.
194
00:07:43,788 --> 00:07:45,573
They come out of those parkas
looking pasty.
195
00:07:45,703 --> 00:07:47,836
Love the behind-the-scenes
tidbits.
196
00:07:48,010 --> 00:07:50,621
Sam, what the hell's going on?
197
00:07:50,752 --> 00:07:52,014
Well, Joan lied to me.
198
00:07:52,144 --> 00:07:53,450
First, she told me
she loved the script,
199
00:07:53,581 --> 00:07:55,713
and now, she's saying
it's a disaster.
200
00:07:55,887 --> 00:07:58,760
I didn't say disaster.
It's just not read-ready.
201
00:07:58,847 --> 00:08:00,544
But we have
the whole rest of the night,
202
00:08:00,631 --> 00:08:02,459
and I died on a little bit
of amphetamines,
203
00:08:02,590 --> 00:08:04,113
so let's get out
your Smith Corona
204
00:08:04,243 --> 00:08:05,810
and make this puppy sing.
205
00:08:05,941 --> 00:08:08,247
Are you gonna help me do
a rewrite on Polar Opposites?
206
00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:11,033
Yeah, it's already most
of the way there, sweetheart.
207
00:08:11,207 --> 00:08:13,252
We just have to put
our two heads together,
208
00:08:13,383 --> 00:08:16,386
like in my Siamese twins comedy,
Seven Brides for Six Brothers.
209
00:08:16,473 --> 00:08:18,170
Oh, we actually
watched that one together.
210
00:08:18,301 --> 00:08:19,563
It does not hold up.
211
00:08:19,694 --> 00:08:21,652
Much like Cindy and Mindy's
shared neck.
212
00:08:23,001 --> 00:08:25,874
So, I hear you two are planning
Flower's inaugural ball.
213
00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:27,440
What are you thinking?
214
00:08:27,571 --> 00:08:30,095
Well, I am advocating
that the evening commence
215
00:08:30,269 --> 00:08:31,227
with a series of dances.
216
00:08:31,401 --> 00:08:33,098
A waltz, a quadrille,
217
00:08:33,272 --> 00:08:35,405
a polka if we're feeling frisky.
218
00:08:35,536 --> 00:08:37,625
Boring!
219
00:08:37,712 --> 00:08:39,931
First Gentleman
have better idea.
220
00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:42,412
We have Sam and Jay capture Dane
221
00:08:42,543 --> 00:08:45,067
and then watch as they throw
frozen cabbages at head.
222
00:08:45,197 --> 00:08:46,851
And I just think
223
00:08:46,938 --> 00:08:49,680
perhaps Samantha may balk
at kidnapping a Danish person.
224
00:08:49,854 --> 00:08:51,116
Doesn't have to be Dane.
225
00:08:51,290 --> 00:08:51,943
Thor would settle for
226
00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:53,249
Finn or Swede.
227
00:08:53,379 --> 00:08:54,511
Dutchman in a pinch.
228
00:08:54,642 --> 00:08:56,426
I think these are all
great ideas.
229
00:08:56,513 --> 00:08:59,298
As far as decorations
are concerned,
230
00:08:59,429 --> 00:09:01,953
I was thinking lilies,
perhaps some bunting.
231
00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:03,651
- Classic.
- Thor think decorations
232
00:09:03,825 --> 00:09:05,261
should be more fish-based.
233
00:09:05,435 --> 00:09:06,741
Well, what a shocker.
234
00:09:06,871 --> 00:09:08,438
Oh, like, uh, like
an "Under the Sea" theme?
235
00:09:08,569 --> 00:09:10,483
No, more like fish
out of the sea
236
00:09:10,614 --> 00:09:12,311
and being smoked from rafters.
237
00:09:12,442 --> 00:09:14,575
Will be most pungent.
Perfect for party.
238
00:09:14,705 --> 00:09:15,880
We will not be having
239
00:09:16,011 --> 00:09:18,230
rotten fish carcasses
240
00:09:18,317 --> 00:09:19,841
at Flower's inaugural ball.
241
00:09:20,015 --> 00:09:22,104
Not rotten.
242
00:09:22,234 --> 00:09:25,063
Cured by cold smoke.
243
00:09:25,150 --> 00:09:28,371
You see what Thor
have to deal with here?
244
00:09:30,329 --> 00:09:32,157
Okay, okay, but hear me out,
245
00:09:32,331 --> 00:09:33,506
what if we put the scene
246
00:09:33,594 --> 00:09:34,856
where Nathan
and Jenny kiss here?
247
00:09:34,986 --> 00:09:38,033
Before the mix-up
at the peppermint factory?
248
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,687
I don't like it, I love it.
249
00:09:39,817 --> 00:09:41,210
We are bippin' and boppin'.
250
00:09:41,297 --> 00:09:43,081
You really can move fast
251
00:09:43,212 --> 00:09:44,648
when you don't have to literally
cut and paste the paper.
252
00:09:44,779 --> 00:09:46,128
Just to circle back, did you guys
253
00:09:46,258 --> 00:09:47,738
hear my pitch about
the locomotive engineer
254
00:09:47,869 --> 00:09:49,131
- being a snowman?
- Yeah,
255
00:09:49,261 --> 00:09:50,436
wouldn't the heat
from the steam engine
256
00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:51,394
make him melt?
257
00:09:51,481 --> 00:09:53,265
Okay, the mayor is a polar bear,
258
00:09:53,396 --> 00:09:55,964
but sure, let's be rigorous
about the laws of thermodynamics
259
00:09:56,094 --> 00:09:57,661
when it comes to snowmen
driving trains.
260
00:09:57,792 --> 00:10:00,925
So, that just brings us
to our ending.
261
00:10:01,056 --> 00:10:03,145
Which I think really works now.
262
00:10:03,275 --> 00:10:05,582
Y-You don't think it's a bummer
they don't end up together?
263
00:10:05,713 --> 00:10:07,628
No, that's what makes it fresh.
264
00:10:07,758 --> 00:10:09,325
Jenny chooses herself.
265
00:10:09,412 --> 00:10:11,849
It's a rom-com.
Don't reinvent the wheel.
266
00:10:11,936 --> 00:10:13,677
Just give the people
what they want.
267
00:10:13,808 --> 00:10:15,984
Okay, I think I'm gonna stick
with my ending,
268
00:10:16,114 --> 00:10:17,333
and if Paula doesn't like it,
269
00:10:17,463 --> 00:10:18,508
that is feedback
that she can give me.
270
00:10:18,639 --> 00:10:20,771
Sam, I mean it.
271
00:10:20,858 --> 00:10:22,991
A downer ending
can ruin a whole read.
272
00:10:23,121 --> 00:10:24,601
Joan, I've made my decision.
273
00:10:24,732 --> 00:10:26,821
Thank you, but I'm gonna go
print this out
274
00:10:26,951 --> 00:10:28,474
and give it to her
in the morning to read.
275
00:10:31,477 --> 00:10:33,218
This is not good, Sass.
276
00:10:33,349 --> 00:10:34,916
The ending is everything.
Sam's gonna blow this.
277
00:10:35,046 --> 00:10:37,353
Maybe Paula will like it.
278
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:38,833
You're saying Sam
knows better than me?
279
00:10:38,963 --> 00:10:41,662
I'm saying she's alive
and might have
280
00:10:41,749 --> 00:10:42,837
her finger on the pulse...
281
00:10:42,967 --> 00:10:44,708
...you know, 'cause she has one.
282
00:10:44,839 --> 00:10:48,538
Okay, what about this?
We run a little test.
283
00:10:48,669 --> 00:10:50,801
You go into Paula's dream
and suss her out.
284
00:10:50,888 --> 00:10:53,195
See if she has any
strong feelings on happy endings
285
00:10:53,369 --> 00:10:56,241
versus that nuanced mumbo jumbo
Sam's been pitching.
286
00:10:56,372 --> 00:10:59,331
Interesting. And then we can
present Sam with the evidence.
287
00:10:59,418 --> 00:11:02,247
- Okay. Yeah. It's a good idea.
- Thank you.
288
00:11:02,421 --> 00:11:04,685
See how easy that is to say?
That something's a good idea?
289
00:11:04,815 --> 00:11:07,862
We're not doing
the snowman thing.
290
00:11:08,776 --> 00:11:10,125
Flower.
291
00:11:10,255 --> 00:11:12,214
The, uh...
planning committee
292
00:11:12,344 --> 00:11:14,216
is at an impasse, so we need
293
00:11:14,346 --> 00:11:16,784
the Ghost Representative
herself to weigh in.
294
00:11:16,914 --> 00:11:19,351
Great, let's go find her.
295
00:11:19,482 --> 00:11:20,613
Flower, that you.
296
00:11:20,744 --> 00:11:23,312
Right. Right. Oh, cool beans.
297
00:11:23,399 --> 00:11:25,444
So, as a neutral party,
298
00:11:25,575 --> 00:11:28,709
Peter will lay out our
competing visions, anonymously,
299
00:11:28,796 --> 00:11:30,798
for you to make
an unbiased opinion.
300
00:11:30,928 --> 00:11:32,625
- Sure. Works for me.
- Okay.
301
00:11:32,713 --> 00:11:35,150
I will be presenting
two very valid, viable options.
302
00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:36,586
You'll have no idea
whose is whose.
303
00:11:38,414 --> 00:11:40,938
we begin with dancing,
then proceed to toasts,
304
00:11:41,025 --> 00:11:42,853
followed by
the smelling of brandy.
305
00:11:43,027 --> 00:11:45,247
The room will be
festooned with lilies
306
00:11:45,377 --> 00:11:46,639
and filled with classical music.
307
00:11:46,814 --> 00:11:48,685
Hmm, that sounds nice.
308
00:11:48,816 --> 00:11:51,906
Option B, again,
completely anonymous:
309
00:11:52,036 --> 00:11:54,125
we will line the rafters
with smoked fish.
310
00:11:54,299 --> 00:11:56,562
We will humiliate someone
of Northern European descent,
311
00:11:56,693 --> 00:12:00,523
and we will smell copious
amounts of rams' testicles.
312
00:12:00,610 --> 00:12:02,177
Hmm...
313
00:12:03,526 --> 00:12:06,703
Those both sound great.
Um, let me think.
314
00:12:06,834 --> 00:12:10,098
Ooh, tough call.
I guess the first one,
315
00:12:10,228 --> 00:12:12,056
- if I have to pick.
- Damn it, Pete!
316
00:12:12,187 --> 00:12:14,624
Why you not sell Option B good?
317
00:12:14,755 --> 00:12:16,844
You totally leave out cod luge.
318
00:12:16,974 --> 00:12:19,063
I guess I wasn't clear
on what that meant exactly.
319
00:12:19,194 --> 00:12:21,065
Like, is the luge
shaped like a cod
320
00:12:21,196 --> 00:12:22,414
or do the cod slide down it?
321
00:12:22,545 --> 00:12:24,199
- Both, obviously!
- Thor!
322
00:12:24,329 --> 00:12:26,810
It does not matter
who came up with what.
323
00:12:26,897 --> 00:12:28,638
Flower herself has given us
a direction,
324
00:12:28,812 --> 00:12:30,901
and we need to honor
her decision.
325
00:12:31,032 --> 00:12:33,251
No. Thor not want
to plan party anymore,
326
00:12:33,382 --> 00:12:34,687
because apparently,
327
00:12:34,775 --> 00:12:38,256
First Gentleman
actually Worst Gentleman.
328
00:12:41,651 --> 00:12:44,915
Ugly moment but, I got to say,
nice wordplay.
329
00:12:45,089 --> 00:12:46,961
So then,
I went into Paula's dream
330
00:12:47,091 --> 00:12:49,528
to try to find out which type
of ending she prefers.
331
00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,182
Well, what did she say?
332
00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:53,010
He got no answer.
333
00:12:53,141 --> 00:12:55,143
She started asking for context,
and we got sidetracked.
334
00:12:55,273 --> 00:12:57,145
She had a lot of questions.
335
00:12:57,232 --> 00:12:59,060
Yeah, sure, it's hard to just
judge an ending out of context.
336
00:12:59,147 --> 00:13:01,236
We just ended up getting into
a lot more details
337
00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:02,933
that I hadn't
planned on discussing,
338
00:13:03,107 --> 00:13:04,500
and then, Mario Lopez came in
339
00:13:04,630 --> 00:13:06,545
to see if she was ready
for her massage,
340
00:13:06,676 --> 00:13:08,765
and then,
Paula asked me to leave.
341
00:13:08,896 --> 00:13:10,375
Hey, guys. Today's the big day.
342
00:13:10,549 --> 00:13:13,683
Oh, Joan, thank you so much
for all your help last night.
343
00:13:13,770 --> 00:13:15,685
I am so excited for Paula
to read the script.
344
00:13:15,816 --> 00:13:18,514
- I hope she likes it.
- I'm sure she will, kiddo.
345
00:13:18,601 --> 00:13:20,124
Yeah, and then we can all
celebrate together
346
00:13:20,255 --> 00:13:21,952
- at the inaugural ball.
- I won't be attending.
347
00:13:22,083 --> 00:13:24,955
I'll be sitting alone
in the woods. Surviving.
348
00:13:25,129 --> 00:13:26,957
Designated surviving.
349
00:13:27,088 --> 00:13:29,481
I don't care
if it's 5:00 a.m. in L.A.
350
00:13:29,568 --> 00:13:32,310
I have to tell you about
this idea I came up with.
351
00:13:32,484 --> 00:13:33,921
I'm on with the coast.
352
00:13:34,051 --> 00:13:38,055
It's a holiday rom-com
set at the North Pole,
353
00:13:38,186 --> 00:13:40,101
and get this,
it's called Polar Opposites.
354
00:13:40,188 --> 00:13:43,104
It came to me in a dream,
fully formed.
355
00:13:43,234 --> 00:13:46,629
Jenny Polar is in love
with Nathan Opposites.
356
00:13:47,935 --> 00:13:49,545
What did you do, Sass?
357
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:52,069
It was Joan's idea.
358
00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:58,946
You went into
Paula's dream and told her
359
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,730
my movie idea?
How could you guys do this?
360
00:14:00,817 --> 00:14:02,950
- I'm sorry, Sam.
- No, it's my fault.
361
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:05,300
I-I was so desperate
to prove I was right.
362
00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:07,215
It's been so long
since I've been in the game.
363
00:14:07,345 --> 00:14:08,781
I got carried away.
364
00:14:08,869 --> 00:14:10,740
Samantha, there's
a simple solution to this.
365
00:14:10,827 --> 00:14:12,437
Just show her
your completed script.
366
00:14:12,568 --> 00:14:14,048
What would that prove?
367
00:14:14,178 --> 00:14:16,398
At best, she'll think
that I had the same idea.
368
00:14:16,528 --> 00:14:18,008
In which case,
why buy it from me?
369
00:14:18,182 --> 00:14:19,967
And at worst, she'll think
I heard her on the phone
370
00:14:20,141 --> 00:14:22,099
and had AI spit out a draft.
371
00:14:22,273 --> 00:14:24,319
A.I. Rosenberg? That guy's
still knocking around?
372
00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:26,060
He was no spring chicken
in my day.
373
00:14:26,190 --> 00:14:27,931
Okay, we can figure out
a solution.
374
00:14:28,062 --> 00:14:30,760
There is no solution.
She thinks she came up with it,
375
00:14:30,934 --> 00:14:32,414
and now, my movie's
gonna be made,
376
00:14:32,544 --> 00:14:34,111
and I will get
none of the credit.
377
00:14:34,242 --> 00:14:35,634
Not so fast.
378
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:38,246
We had a term in my day,
"gaslight,"
379
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:40,030
based on a 1940s film
of the same name,
380
00:14:40,204 --> 00:14:42,337
in which a husband
convinces his wife
381
00:14:42,467 --> 00:14:43,991
she's gone crazy.
382
00:14:44,078 --> 00:14:45,514
That's still very much
a term today.
383
00:14:45,644 --> 00:14:47,908
So, here's what I'm thinking,
we gaslight Paula
384
00:14:48,082 --> 00:14:49,997
into thinking
she's read your script already.
385
00:14:50,171 --> 00:14:51,607
Okay, but how do we do that?
386
00:14:51,781 --> 00:14:54,218
Oh, I know exactly how we do it.
387
00:14:54,305 --> 00:14:56,612
The seeds were planted
in the very first moments
388
00:14:56,742 --> 00:14:58,831
she arrived here at Woodstone.
389
00:14:58,962 --> 00:15:00,921
You couldn't write it
any better.
390
00:15:02,357 --> 00:15:04,054
Hey, Thor.
391
00:15:04,185 --> 00:15:06,013
Just wanted to check on you.
392
00:15:06,143 --> 00:15:08,711
You seemed pretty upset before.
393
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:11,627
Thor not upset.
Thor just confused.
394
00:15:11,714 --> 00:15:14,238
Not sure how anyone at party
will have fun
395
00:15:14,369 --> 00:15:16,240
without fish luge.
396
00:15:16,371 --> 00:15:18,025
I guess I'm just a little
surprised you care so much
397
00:15:18,155 --> 00:15:20,027
about planning a party.
398
00:15:20,157 --> 00:15:21,376
Why?
399
00:15:21,506 --> 00:15:22,855
Thor love party.
400
00:15:22,943 --> 00:15:25,249
Some of Thor's biggest heroes
plan party.
401
00:15:25,380 --> 00:15:26,685
Sven the Reveler.
402
00:15:26,816 --> 00:15:28,078
And the Great Lisas...
403
00:15:28,209 --> 00:15:30,472
Rinna and Vanderpump.
404
00:15:31,734 --> 00:15:33,518
Thor, what's this really about?
405
00:15:34,998 --> 00:15:37,218
You Ghost Representative now,
and...
406
00:15:37,305 --> 00:15:38,523
Thor very happy for you
407
00:15:38,697 --> 00:15:42,092
but just worried
that new fancy Flower
408
00:15:42,266 --> 00:15:43,964
not need Thor anymore.
409
00:15:44,051 --> 00:15:45,878
What are you talking about?
410
00:15:46,009 --> 00:15:48,316
You need Thor spell it out?
411
00:15:48,403 --> 00:15:49,970
You Oprah,
412
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:51,406
Thor Stedman.
413
00:15:51,536 --> 00:15:52,407
Who's Stedman?
414
00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:53,886
Exactly!
415
00:15:54,670 --> 00:15:56,498
- Oh.
- Look,
416
00:15:56,628 --> 00:15:59,980
Thor just figure that if he plan
party as First Gentleman
417
00:16:00,110 --> 00:16:01,503
that it make Thor useful.
418
00:16:01,633 --> 00:16:04,419
That he not get...
419
00:16:04,549 --> 00:16:05,681
left behind.
420
00:16:06,725 --> 00:16:08,423
Thor.
421
00:16:08,597 --> 00:16:11,643
Just because I'm a little busier
and have some big title now
422
00:16:11,730 --> 00:16:13,863
doesn't mean
you're going to get left behind.
423
00:16:13,994 --> 00:16:15,430
No?
424
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:18,128
If anything, having more
on my plate makes me realize
425
00:16:18,215 --> 00:16:21,218
how precious
the free time I do have is.
426
00:16:21,349 --> 00:16:24,961
And I love spending
that free time with you.
427
00:16:25,092 --> 00:16:29,661
Thor love you more than
Sven the Reveler loves reveling.
428
00:16:29,748 --> 00:16:32,055
Which was kind of his thing.
429
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,715
Okay, the computer's all set.
430
00:16:39,845 --> 00:16:41,108
Is Jay in position?
431
00:16:41,238 --> 00:16:42,544
Affirmative. He's ready to go.
432
00:16:42,674 --> 00:16:44,502
Let's gaslight this broad.
433
00:16:48,289 --> 00:16:50,726
Hey, Paula. I have
some fresh towels for you.
434
00:16:50,813 --> 00:16:52,119
Come on in.
435
00:16:53,511 --> 00:16:55,861
So, how are you enjoying
your stay?
436
00:16:55,992 --> 00:16:57,950
It's been very productive.
437
00:16:58,081 --> 00:17:00,170
That's great.
438
00:17:00,344 --> 00:17:03,043
Look, I, uh, got to ask,
439
00:17:03,130 --> 00:17:04,870
what did you think
of the script?
440
00:17:05,001 --> 00:17:06,263
What script?
441
00:17:06,394 --> 00:17:07,482
Polar Opposites.
442
00:17:07,612 --> 00:17:09,005
What?
443
00:17:09,136 --> 00:17:10,659
What are you talking about?
444
00:17:10,789 --> 00:17:13,009
Did you hear me talking
about that earlier?
445
00:17:13,183 --> 00:17:15,446
I'm confused. That's the script
I gave you to read last night.
446
00:17:17,361 --> 00:17:18,580
Hey, Paula.
447
00:17:18,710 --> 00:17:19,624
You got a delivery.
448
00:17:19,711 --> 00:17:20,843
I did?
449
00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:21,931
Now go, go.
450
00:17:22,062 --> 00:17:22,932
I didn't order anything.
451
00:17:23,106 --> 00:17:24,325
And I don't know
452
00:17:24,455 --> 00:17:26,196
what you're talking about
with a script.
453
00:17:26,327 --> 00:17:29,634
I had a dream about a movie,
Polar Opposites.
454
00:17:29,765 --> 00:17:30,983
But it was my idea.
455
00:17:31,114 --> 00:17:31,854
Paula, I don't want to be rude,
456
00:17:31,941 --> 00:17:34,074
but are you gaslighting me?
457
00:17:34,161 --> 00:17:35,640
What? No.
458
00:17:35,771 --> 00:17:36,641
I think I might know
459
00:17:36,815 --> 00:17:37,512
what happened here.
460
00:17:37,686 --> 00:17:39,470
Um, is it possible
461
00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:41,168
that you may have taken
an Ambien last night?
462
00:17:41,298 --> 00:17:43,170
I don't remember
taking an Ambien.
463
00:17:43,300 --> 00:17:44,910
You guys are monsters.
464
00:17:45,041 --> 00:17:46,608
- Well done.
- Yeah.
465
00:17:46,738 --> 00:17:48,914
Didn't you say that sometimes
when you take an Ambien
466
00:17:49,045 --> 00:17:50,786
you kind of black out
and online shop?
467
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:51,830
Mm.
468
00:17:51,961 --> 00:17:53,615
That would explain the delivery.
469
00:17:53,745 --> 00:17:56,444
Uh, I didn't order anything.
470
00:17:56,531 --> 00:17:58,054
Oh, but there's
a bunch of purses for sale
471
00:17:58,185 --> 00:17:59,360
on your computer.
472
00:17:59,447 --> 00:18:00,535
Mm.
473
00:18:00,665 --> 00:18:01,492
Ugh.
474
00:18:01,579 --> 00:18:03,277
That's weird.
475
00:18:03,407 --> 00:18:05,627
I usually have much better taste
when I black out.
476
00:18:05,757 --> 00:18:07,672
Jay got that for Sam
for their last anniversary.
477
00:18:07,846 --> 00:18:10,371
Ooh. Swing and a miss.
478
00:18:10,501 --> 00:18:11,720
Oh, my God!
479
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:15,985
"Polar Opposites. Screenplay
by Samantha Arondekar.
480
00:18:16,116 --> 00:18:18,205
A Samantha Arondekar joint"?
481
00:18:19,075 --> 00:18:22,122
- Maybe I should... refamiliarize myself.
- Of course.
482
00:18:22,252 --> 00:18:23,601
Take your time.
483
00:18:23,732 --> 00:18:25,037
Uh, and just for
what it's worth,
484
00:18:25,168 --> 00:18:26,561
I really like the purse.
485
00:18:26,648 --> 00:18:28,432
I think you can wear it
for a fancy night out
486
00:18:28,519 --> 00:18:31,566
or, you know, even a casual trip
to the grocery store.
487
00:18:31,696 --> 00:18:32,567
It's dog crap.
488
00:18:32,697 --> 00:18:33,611
Let her read.
489
00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:37,615
Well? What did you think?
490
00:18:37,702 --> 00:18:39,791
I'm completely sober
and I still love it.
491
00:18:39,922 --> 00:18:41,793
You are one hell
of a writer, young lady.
492
00:18:41,924 --> 00:18:43,273
That's a relief.
493
00:18:43,404 --> 00:18:45,014
But I can't take all the credit.
494
00:18:45,145 --> 00:18:46,581
- What do you mean?
- I owe
495
00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:48,713
a debt to the trailblazing
female screenwriters
496
00:18:48,844 --> 00:18:49,758
who came before me.
497
00:18:49,845 --> 00:18:50,846
Okay.
498
00:18:51,020 --> 00:18:52,152
It was all you, Sam.
499
00:18:52,239 --> 00:18:54,241
I just helped flesh it out
a little.
500
00:18:54,371 --> 00:18:55,285
I do have one note though.
501
00:18:55,459 --> 00:18:56,504
The ending.
502
00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:57,940
It's a bit of a bummer.
503
00:18:58,070 --> 00:18:59,942
Really? I thought
it might be, you know,
504
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:01,335
- fresher if...
- No, no, no.
505
00:19:01,509 --> 00:19:02,901
You want fresh,
work at a farmers market.
506
00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:05,687
We want the girl to get the guy,
the guy to get the girl,
507
00:19:05,774 --> 00:19:08,951
and Mario Lopez to show up
at the midpoint in a Speedo.
508
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,082
I'm not joking.
509
00:19:10,213 --> 00:19:11,432
He's got a two-picture deal.
510
00:19:11,519 --> 00:19:12,694
Make that happen.
511
00:19:12,868 --> 00:19:13,912
That's a good note, Paula.
512
00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:15,349
People love a happy ending.
513
00:19:15,479 --> 00:19:17,046
Mm. Remember?
That's what I was saying.
514
00:19:17,177 --> 00:19:18,917
So Mario Lopez
515
00:19:19,048 --> 00:19:20,354
in a Speedo at the North Pole
in the middle of winter
516
00:19:20,484 --> 00:19:22,486
makes more sense
than my snowman pitch?
517
00:19:22,617 --> 00:19:25,402
- Yes. - Yeah, I'm gonna watch
the crap out of this movie.
518
00:19:31,582 --> 00:19:32,888
Thank you, guys, so much.
I had a really groovy time
519
00:19:33,018 --> 00:19:34,455
at my inaugural ball.
520
00:19:34,542 --> 00:19:36,065
Got to hand it to you, Hetty.
521
00:19:36,152 --> 00:19:39,199
That was best non-orgy party
Thor ever attend.
522
00:19:39,329 --> 00:19:40,461
Aw.
523
00:19:40,591 --> 00:19:43,072
And I am personally glad
we ended up going
524
00:19:43,159 --> 00:19:44,726
with your hanging cod idea.
525
00:19:44,856 --> 00:19:47,119
It was a pungent addition
526
00:19:47,250 --> 00:19:50,122
to an otherwise aromatically
conventional affair.
527
00:19:50,297 --> 00:19:51,602
Hey!
528
00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:53,187
Hey, babe. I'm trying
to make cod for dinner,
529
00:19:53,217 --> 00:19:54,736
but there's none in the freezer.
530
00:19:54,866 --> 00:19:55,867
Yeah, it's hanging from the rafters
in the ballroom.
531
00:19:55,998 --> 00:19:57,956
- Okay.
- Anyway,
532
00:19:58,087 --> 00:19:59,393
big news. Paula emailed
533
00:19:59,523 --> 00:20:01,438
and we are officially booked
to host
534
00:20:01,612 --> 00:20:03,701
It's Getting Hot in Here:
All Stars.
535
00:20:03,875 --> 00:20:05,094
What?!
536
00:20:05,225 --> 00:20:06,661
It getting hot in here?
537
00:20:06,791 --> 00:20:07,879
Yes.
538
00:20:08,010 --> 00:20:09,664
My mom is gonna freak out
539
00:20:09,794 --> 00:20:11,056
if I get to meet Skylar L.
540
00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:12,319
And, also,
541
00:20:12,493 --> 00:20:13,537
Paula confirmed
that she submitted
542
00:20:13,668 --> 00:20:15,104
my screenplay to the studio.
543
00:20:15,235 --> 00:20:17,411
And, apparently,
they're "excited to read."
544
00:20:17,541 --> 00:20:19,848
Yes! Oh, babe,
I'm so proud of you.
545
00:20:19,935 --> 00:20:20,936
Oof.
546
00:20:21,066 --> 00:20:22,503
Isaac's gonna be so jealous
547
00:20:22,590 --> 00:20:24,069
Polar Opposites
might be made into a movie
548
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:25,027
before his vampire book.
549
00:20:25,114 --> 00:20:26,333
I want to tell him.
550
00:20:26,463 --> 00:20:27,769
Hold on. Where is Isaac?
551
00:20:27,943 --> 00:20:29,640
Did anyone tell him
that the ball is over?
552
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:30,728
I mean, it ended
553
00:20:30,859 --> 00:20:31,990
three hours ago.
554
00:20:32,121 --> 00:20:33,905
I'm sure
he figured it out by now.
555
00:20:34,036 --> 00:20:37,648
♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle dandy ♪
556
00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:40,956
♪ Yankee Doodle do or die. ♪
557
00:20:47,310 --> 00:20:49,051
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
558
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:51,009
and TOYOTA.
559
00:20:51,140 --> 00:20:53,273
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org